Friday, November 11, 2011

This might be cheesy...

This might be cheesy, but I’m learning that before I do anything else, I have to accept myself.

For instance, I always feel pressed for time when writing these entries. But you don’t mind that, do you? I mean, you wouldn’t even know I felt this way if I didn’t tell you.

But maybe you can see it in my writing. Regardless, whatever your opinions may be, I want you to know: I’m working on changing this.

Change my mind, change my life. That’s what I’m after. 

The only reasons I can think not to do this is because I “shouldn’t”. And that word is inevitably followed by any number of excuses: because it’s not right, it’s not perfect, it’s a waste of time, people will think it’s dumb, because it won’t yield any results, I can’t predict what the results will be, because it’s not customary, right, normal, real, important, good enough, etc.

I think you get my point.

I know I shouldn’t think this way (that word again!), but I can’t just knock it. I’ve tried. I’ve told myself to knock it off, to relax, to stop it and any number of interchangeable phrases, but all of them essentially lead me back to “should” or “shouldn’t”. And then I’m back to square one.

What I’m still learning is this: I have to acknowledge whatever I’m feeling; I have to accept it as me first. I even have to respect my feelings! If I don’t, it’s back to should/shouldn’t. 

I know that’s cheesy, but if you can get to success while living happily and healthily without acceptance, I’d love to know your secret.

Until then, I’m sticking with my cheese.

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